Monday, April 25, 2005

Twu Wuv

So, I went to a wedding this weekend. It's so sad that these events always make me feel I've done something wrong. Was it all that cheddar I ate and the resultant cheese gut? Is it my personalitiy? Is it my looks? My crazy hair? (It is bad, so I could understand, but I'm just saying -- it's not my fault that the "color your hair at home with salon results" promise is a lie). Anyway, it's never been my goal to be a married gal, but weddings always remind me that it'd be nice to be asked, you know? I can buy my own diamonds (they would be small and from Wal-Mart, but I could still buy them), so it's not the ring I miss ... I don't think. I mean, I don't smell -- well, I smell, but not bad, it's L'eau by Kenzo, for heaven's sake. Delightful. I can cook if I have to, I am, by all accounts, hilarious, and my wit has been described as rapier. Just propose, I won't make you go through with it.

Anyways, in other news that makes me look like a loser -- I cannot belive how much I missed my dog this weekend! I took him to the kennel on Thursday, because I had to fly out to the wedding at 6am on Friday morning. It was so weird to not have him staring at me with those hopeful eyes on Thursday night. "Please give me some of your supper". (Or, in dog, "Pleez giv mee sum ov ur suppr -- because they can't spell or type very well -- no thumbs). I didn't sleep well, because I'm used to him kicking me in the back all night when he's dreaming. That's kind of sad, but also kind of nice. He's a good pup. I'll be excited to pick him up (even if I have to pay a billion dollars to get him out of doggie-hock) tomorrow. I imagine he'll be glad to get back, too -- the place I boarded him (University Animal Hospital on 66th in Manhattan) seemed quite nice, but definitely not our style. We're down home, and they were seriously downtown. There were many tiny women with tiny dogs wearing tiny sweaters in the waiting area, and interstingly enough, even the privileged group in that waiting room speculated that Lou was a wolf. Poor Lou will be happy to get back to the ghetto and chicken bones he has come to love. I can't wait to see him.

Lastly, if anyone knows who broke into my home over the weekend and threw my dirty laundry around, left dirty dishes in the sink and just generally ignored the need to sweep the floor, let me know, because I'm sure I left it pristine and sparkly. Imagine my surprise when I got back to the filth. P.O.Y. - j.

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