Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Some Other Thoughts

Thought #1: My dog, Louis, is passive aggressive.. How did he learn that? And, while it might be interesting to know the answer to that question, here's another: how do I stop it? All that pacing around in the bedroom (while I'm in the living room) and plopping down on the floor and sighing? He's like every boyfriend you don't want to have.

Me: "What's wrong, Lou?"

Him: "Oh, nothing."

Subtext: "I just hate you and wish I didn't live here. Oh, and do you have any bacon?"

Thought #2: I would like to meet and marry the person who invented the Wallet Owl. Man or woman, I don't care. I'll marry either sex and happily tidy up after any mess he/she makes in the west, east, north or south wings of the mansion. I'm assuming it's a mansion, because based on the number of Wallet Owl commercials airing on EVERY F'ING CHANNEL, the product must be selling.

Thought #3: Don't take this personally, but Pat Robertson? You are bathouse, shithouse, balls-out crazy. Why don't you fly down to Caracas and aim your slingshot at Hugo? Be sure to start a blog to tell us all about your experiences, you cute little nut-job, you. Godspeed.

Thought #4: Again about Lou. I wish he weren't getting old is all. Sometimes when we're walking, I can see that his hips aren't what they used to be, but then neither are mine ... actually, mine are MORE than what they used to be, but that's not good either. Thank heavens for Synovi G3. Too bad the evil crooks at University Animal Crookhospital stole my supply to feed to some skinny Upper East Side bitch's french bulldog. NEVER GO THERE. They are horrible, horrible, horrible. And, evil.


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