Monday, October 24, 2005

Ghosts in the Machine ... or Apartment


Lou. Lou is staying with Anthony. And, the thing is, I'm afraid Lou will love Anthony more than me! I'm equally afraid for Lou, though, because I project my own personal pathologies on him. What if Anthony doesn't like him? Lou don't got no thumbs, man. How can he call me? While not too nice to tell me he hates my dog, Anthony is smart enough to know that I am approximately 1/8 of an inch from full-blown crazy -- the kind of crazy that puts you in jail for some reason -- and would probably fake an illness in his family to get me to take Lou to the kennel.

Keereyest! If I could parlay my ability to dream up scenarios of doom into some kind of career ... wait a minute, I can:


Color him brown and with boobs, and it's me, man. I've got to sign off so I can update my resume ... plus, Aqua Teen Hunger Force is on.


Anonymous Anthony DeVito said...

I would not fake a family illness to get rid of Lou! Because then, as we all know, God would make it real. And boy would my face be red. Besides, Louis is the best puppy ever. He's still at my place and I already miss his furry ass. If I keep squeezing his head, will it pop at some point?

5:12 PM  
Blogger olive said...

Oh, you lie, but that's okay. I'm hip to your pathology, homey. I'm happy that you're coming to an understanding about the power of lies (as a Catholic School graduate, I don't get how you're not always thinking about this, but whatever). My only recommendation to you would be that you stop squeezing my dog's head. Or, if you're committed to the exercise, just keep it up. You'll get exactly what you deserve.

11:16 PM  
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